Well, hello there :) Been 3 months eh i never post here. Sorry, been busy with my life and stuff like that.
3 Months since i posted here. Trust me, 3 months is like a long time.
Changes taken place : 1. Lost some friends 2. Resigned from Old Job, in new job and is very unhappy there. 3. I've been in a relationship that not many people knows. With a guy, actually, but who cares, we're on the verge of going off seperate ways and yeah, i'm going back to straightland. 4. I kinda flunked my GPA. Not alot of people know, once again.
For the past 17 years, i've been living on my own. I'm forced to grow up due to circumstances at home etc. I should be thankful but it has been taking it's toll on me. Well, since this blog is not known to my family members, at least i can finally voice out.
Actually, i've been smoking more and it's bad cause i wanted to quit like very badly. When i'm stressed, i tend to smoke or eat more. What can i do? As much as i wanna get myself drunk, i cant.
And putting mask where ever i go is very hard actually. People think i'm actually carefree, happy, bubbly etc but actually, i'm hurt, lost and acting with a mask is the only way for me not to think about it, but i can escape from reality. It's catching up on me. I can put my feelings and thoughts aside f0r 0ther people. When it comes to me, is really anyone there for me? i doubt so. My family don't really give a fuck about me. My friends, they're just there when i'm up. When i'm down, it's just me against the world.
I skip school, skip work, skip whatever i can skip is all due to the fact that i really had enough. there are times i have sucidal thoughts, but i don't want to end my life, just like that. It's completely worthless.
Then, i want to mention this. It has been a month since i've worked at Fish N Co, located at suntec. Initially, it was actually nice, but as the days goes by. I just don't know. Suddenly, i'm getting death threats because of the fact that the person dislike me ? Well, too bad, i'm this way. As much as i wanna go work, i don't. I don't wanna face such people. Call me coward for all i care, but i need to think about myself. Who would want to go to work in such an environment like that? God damn it! Argh! I don't want to switch jobs just because of that ...
School wise, week 2 today. I so need to pull up my gpa! argh!
Don't wanna say much here. bye :)
01:08
Yusuf's Blog :)
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